Is there such a thing as loving the wrong person? I was reading through a couple of profiles when I read the statement. Can you really love someone who is wrong to love?

When we love, and in the end, we get hurt, do we consider that loving the wrong person? How about when we find someone else, so the one you left behind is the wrong person? How can we tell who is the "right" person to love?

It is our choice to love someone. No one can force you to love him/her. Yes, it is a fact. Even if you were an "arranged marriage" or being threatened, you just can't love someone without your own consent. So the moment you feel love for someone, you made the choice to make that person the right person for your love, no matter what other people say or think. You decided to go ahead and continue with it because you know, in the deepest corner of your heart, that that person is worth it. So from that point, he/she is the right choice.

Now, in the end, if things didn't go as you planned, you will curse that person and proclaim to the whole world that the only reason that it didn't last was because you loved the person. But how will you know that the next person you'll love will be right? And how in the world did something became wrong just because it didn't work out?

Love is really tricky. It will fool you a couple of times. But it is never wrong. Once love creeps in, everything is thrown out of the window. Logic, practicality, everything. For those who are in love, every second is right. Nothing goes wrong. No matter how much pain or suffering they experience, just  because they love, it is okay.

I believe that there is no such thing as loving the wrong person. Everytime we love, we expose ourselves to all its negative sides, just like holding a double-edged sword. You can either wound others, or get wounded yourself. But once you let the sword of love fly, there is no turning back, and the decision/s you made will be the right thing. No matter what the outcome will become. The moment you decided to love another, it is right. It may not last, you may get hurt, but the love for that person will always be right.

Ever tasted something so good you tried to relive that familiar taste by copying it?

You recall the feeling of eating, how much joy it brings, contentment, fill.

Then You eventually burped. And said thanks for the meal.

After some time, you long for the taste

But instead of going back

You tried your hand in cooking the same meal

Hoping that the taste will be the same

You sweat, you toiled

And in no time

You have perfected copying the meal, down to the last detail

But when you tasted it,

You immediately concluded

And cursed yourself

This is not the same

You were forced to go back and have a taste of that delicious food

And one bite brought you to heaven

And after having your fill

You go back to cursing yourself

For being a fool

For not being able to do it on your own

Prefering to eat someone else

Instead of liking your own

You threw up

The burden of your thoughts were too much

Then you stood up

And decided

"I will cook my own food now"

Hoping that someday

You will be the one eaten,

And that person who has tasted

Will go back

Again

and

Again

Always wanting more

Like what you are doing now

I keep your picture by my bed for when im feeling sad
and i dont know why i would be.
the way your smile looks so real
i feel like i could start to understand your grace.
and i dont understand why you're
not here with me.
and i dont even wanna know where else
you'd be.

cause i have photographs and memories of the times
when you weren't on my mind and i was alone.
and i have poetry and drawings of my life
when you weren't on my side and i didn't know
just what is love...

writing moments on the wall with different colors
keeps my mind away from missing you.
and i can't wait to fall asleep to slip into my dreams
where we can dance upon a star..
and i will be as patient as a boy in love could ever be.
cause i don't feel like i was real until you were
a part of me.

CHORUS

i need you back, i need you back
i need you here.
i need your smile, i need your eyes
i need you dear.
cause every line on your face makes a beautiful maze
for my eyes to trace...

The way jason reeves sang this song (with the guitar playing) stirred my emotions. A very sad song, but I really like it. It reminds me of us. But maybe its better that I stop this. Cause we might end up hating each other for not really letting the other go. But sometimes, I just can't help it. I keep looking at our photographs and remembering our memories. And I realize how much I missed you. But again, it won't be fair if we keep on playing this kind of game. But please, allow me to play this song in my head. So that the photographs and memories will remain

Do you still remember that time you told me that you don't want to look at anyone's friendster / multiply profile anymore, especially mine, because it gives you insecurities, and you start to get envious. I laughed it off, thinking that you are just getting too paranoid, that you should learn to accept reality as you see it, and now dwell on make-belive worlds.

I never thought that someday I'll feel the same sentiments. Whenever I go online and visit my friends' profiles, I feel a tinge of emptiness within me. I seldom envy their professional success. For me, I am already successful in my own right. What usually gets my attention is the smiles on their face while holding hands with the person they love.

Just by looking at the pictures, you can see genuine happiness and sincere love. I feel happy for them too, but deep inside, I ask, how come I don't have that kind of happiness? Or should I say why did I let go of such happiness?

I still keep our pictures together, and everytime I look at them, I can still remember the time we took it. How we laughed off our poses, or how we allowed our selves to be guided by "photo professionals". And when the picture was developed and printed, I was amazed that it was able to convey all those memories. I don't know with you, but for me, it does.

But come to think of it, just by simply going on line, I remember you, because this is where we met. And now, as I once again transform my self into Shad0wf0x, and revisit the world we made, I touch the other realms created by other people, and instead of trying to look away, I look earnestly on their lives. I still feel envy, insecure... but hey, this is my reality. I made this world. So I suck it all up, and move forward. Wishing that someday, others may see my world and feel envious about it too.

Can a man and woman love each other without being involved? without committing? without being in a romantic relationship?

Have you ever wondered why you are not with someone you love and loves you in return?

No, I am not talking about infidelity here. You are single. He/She is single. You go out, talk often, and as platonically close as possible. You know (or feel) he/she has feelings for you and vice versa. But still, there is this invisible barrier preventing from taking your relationship to the next level.

Why are you cautious? Are you afraid to get hurt? Have you lost faith (and trust) in people (especially members of the opposite sex)? I have no idea why two people who is so madly in love with each other is "just friends". People around them see them as the perfect couple. Do I hear wedding bells? But how come you are not hers/his and vice versa. How come you are not a couple?

Are you contented with the relationship you have now, thinking that if either one makes a move, it will only waste the strong bond of friendship you have forged. Do you think that your relationship will go nowhere but here?

I know I owe you a lot of explaining. Everything was left hanging, and you stayed with me even after the mess I made. You kept the flame burning when all I wanted was to extinguish it. And in no time, I got burned, and it reminded me of our love that got lost. Then I started longing for it again, but how can I pick up the pieces without getting cut? I have to endure all the suffering, but sometimes, I tend to forget that I am the one at fault. And I have to swallow my pride and earn your trust again. I know it will be difficult, and it make take me some time, but it's all right. I can handle this.

Thinking about it, we are still friends right?  But there are times I forget that you are not mine and I am not yours. But still, the feeling is good. Whenever I think of you and just have this urge to call, or when I do favors without even you asking for it, and vice versa. We both know our boundaries, and I have to keep that in mind. We still have this huge gap between us. And I don't want you to be the first one to make the bridge. I want it to be me. I want to prove to you that I am willing to do things and go to great lengths just to be with you. 

But, I am not asking you to wait. You can do what you want. Be happy. Find someone else. Fall in love. I have no problem with that. Your happiness means my happiness as well, and I know we share the same sentiments. I'll take my time. Heal all the wounds. I just hope when things are ready for both of us, you and I will still be there. For now, let's enjoy what we have. And maybe in the end, we will see the fruits of what we waited for for a very long time.  

And so it begins... hehehe... after a long wait, We are now here... the much awaited sequel... the dark knight...

After hearing mass, we went to Gaisano Mall to have Ferdie's Tennis Racket fixed. We grabbed our lunch in a nearby foodcourt (first time I tasted Bam-I, delicious!) and took a taxi to SM to meet with Dewi and Anna.

After buying our tickets (I used my free movie pass... yay!) and popcorns (care of anna), we headed to the moviehouse. We got to see some previews, but in just a few minutes, the main feature was showing.

It was a bank robbery by men with clown's masks. The bank manager fought back, injuring one robber. Then he was down. His heroic act went for naught. Then, all of a sudden, the robbers started killing one another, until only two were left. Sensing he would be killed, survival instincts kicked in. One of the robbers trained his gun on the other. Then boom! A school bus rammed inside the bank, leaving one scheming and evil clown having the last laugh.

Several caped-crusaders are trying to emulate batman. The mob has been crippled. The local government, headed by up and coming DA Harvey Dent is putting the big fishes inside prison. Everything seems to be in order. Batman even went as far as Hong Kong to recapture the Mob's chief accountant (another excellent visual extravaganza). Then came chaos, in the form of a make-up wearing psychopath named Joker. He proposed to all the heads of the mob one simple solution to their problem: kill the Batman and retain their old glory. He even performed a magic trick (the disappearing ballpen) to convince them. Soon, Gotham is thrown into a world of violence marked by explosions of catastrophic proportions. Although Batman continues to fight, he is also fighting with himself, trying to justify his actions and wanting to live a normal life. The Joker  spoke in live TV, before executing a Batman impersonator. He challenged the Batman to show his true face.

After the death of the Polilce Commisioner and his wife, and an attempt on the Town Mayor causing Gordon's life, Batman decided to give in to the Joker's demand and hang the cape, Dent sacrificed himself and his reputation and revealed to the world that he is the caped crusader. He was imprisoned, and soon enough, the Joker came to finish him off. This gave the real batman a chance to capture him. With his batmobile-turned-bat cycle, one of the best scenes of the movie was executed: tripping an 18-wheeler truck. When everything seems to be favoring the Joker, an unexpected hero arrives: Gordon was still alive!

After the Joker's capture (and subsequent promotion of Commisioner Gordon), all seems to end well. But it was all part of the Joker's master plan, and soon, batman has to make a choice: save gotham's new knight in shining armor or save the love of his life. He made the logical choice, and pulled our Dent from the inferno. Half of dent's face was burned badly. Unfortuantely, Rachel didn't make it. And to top it all, the Joker has escaped, along with the mob's main accountant.

And so the final hand is played. The Joker (a la darth sidious only with a nurse's dress) seduced Dent to the dark side  and asked him to create chaos. After Batman (Bruce Wayne) had his lambhourghini crushed to save the whistleblower of Batman's true identity (I still remember Morgan Freeman's analysis of the situation, "You are going to black mail one of the most power man in gotham, whom you think is the dark vigilante.." hehehe), the whole hospital where Harvey Dent was staying blew up (with some comic relief from the Joker, when one of the detonators didn't work). And so, the darkest hour before dawn came.

2 boats, 1 carrying the criminals captured by Dent, and 1 carrying innocent passengers, were rigged with bombs. Both boats were given detonators, and in order to save your own life, all you have to do is push the detonator, killing the other boat's passenger. And if no one is dead by 12 midnight, both boats will explode.

Using a highly advanced technology that trespasses the boundaries of privacy (resulting to the resignation of Morgan Freeman), Batman was able to pinpoint the Joker's location. The final confrontation between Batman and the Joker took place. With the police trying to kill the "hostage takes", Batman has no choice but to fight them all off, as well as the real hostage takers. In the end, It was 3 dogs and the joker vs Batman. Batman disposed of the dogs, and took a beating from the Joker. But when no boats exploded by 12 midnight (thanks to the heroic act of someone you might not even consider a hero), Batman took the opportunity to catch the joker off guard. After securing the Joker, Batman was horrified by the truth the Joker spoke. The best among Gotham have been corrupted, and is now reigning chaos and vengance to those who took away Rachel.

Batman confronted the demented Harvey Dent, now known as Two Face, as he held hostage Commisioner Gordon's son. After a brief scuttle, both of them fell on the ground. Dent was lying lifeless on the ground. The burned side of his face showing. After talking with Commissioner Gordon, Batman turned the face of Dent, showing his normal face and did the unthinkable: be Gotham City's Dark Knight. He asked the Commissioner to blame all the killings done by Dent to him, thus preserving the dignity and integrity of Gotham's Knight in Shining Armor. In the end, Batman became an outlaw to the City of Gotham, but to the commisioner, a new hero was born... The Dark Knight...

Very good movie! Action, comedy, suspense, love story, name it. The effects were jaw-dropping. And the story was well written. The actors and actresses were very effective, specially heath ledger as the joker. he sent chills down my spine. Since I used my free move pass, I got to watch the Dark Knight for free!!! It was all worth it, even if I have to pay... either PhP 75 or PhP 150... bravo christopher nolan. you did well again!

I was talking to a friend of mine when our conversation went to presents. She was asking if I can give her a "pasalubong" if I go back to Manila. I candidly told her that maybe, I can give her a kiss. She replied that she would rather take "rice" since the price is soaring. I laughed. Then an idea went through my head. I told her what if I give her an equivalent "weight" of kisses in exchange for the rice.

How do we weigh it? How can I be sure that the kiss you'll be giving me is worth a kilo of rice?

Is there a way to measure kisses?

Way back in my innocent years (hahaha), my mom used to cover our eyes when people kiss on tv. I was wondering, why? My early hypothesis was that kissing leads to babies (yup, because after the couples kiss, the camera rolls, and poof, the girl is already pregnant).  Then I learned about how babies are actually made (during school lessons, not extra curriculat activites) and thus, I see kissing as a mere tool for a man and a woman to express their "love" for one another.

Now, how do we measure the weight of the kiss? Let's see:

WITH REGARD TO NUMBER:

First Kiss = the heaviest of them all. No matter who was that person, he/she will always have a place in your heart, just like your first lay. This may be sloppy, and really amateurish, but everytime you remember this, butterflies will be in your stomach for some time. You day dream of this moment, and constantly revise it to suit your moods. This ways about 50kgs of rice

Second Kiss = half as heavy as the first kiss, because this is where you learn to compare. Her/his techniques, the duration, the taste... everything. During your first, you thought that it was perfect. But with the second, you never imagined things could be much better! 25kgs of rice

Succeeding Kisses = weighs lesser as repetition increases. The magic of the first kiss is gone. You and your partner have become experts. Kissing has become a routine. Weighs around 1kg of rice.

As you can see, the weight of the kisses decreases as the repetition increase. Of course, if you've been doing it with different persons, the counting will reset to zero. But to some, the first kiss will always be a benchmark for all succeeding kisses.

WITH REGARD TO LOCATION OF KISS:

Kiss on the lips - I think this is the heaviest... of course of you are thinking of other lips... then... that will be... hahaha... anyway, lips to lips is the most sacred of all kiss (for me). It symbolizes sharing (you can breath through each other, swap fluids, etc) that borders intimacy to the next level. A kiss on the lips seals the deal. Not unless you get slapped after wards, a kiss on the lips weights a good 50kg

Kiss on the cheeks, eyes, nose, forehead, hand - the typical beso beso... friendly kiss... or conservative kiss. This weighs about 10kg

Kiss on any part of the body aside from the above mentioned - high level of intimacy, and relationship is going to the next level. This weighs a bit more, around 25kg

I really want to write some more, but my mind is drifting a place where I can eat siopao and mami.

To sum it up, kissing weighs diffirently for people. All I've said above is on my personal views. In the end, it doesn't matter how the kisses weight, but what the kisses mean to us. A first kiss to someone maybe worth trash, but to other, it maybe the greatest treasure they have. Whatever the reasons are, kisses can be measured on your own. Some kisses can be as light as a feather, while some kisses can be heavier than a blue whale. Just be sure that you take note of your kisses' weights to avoid being crushed or worse, crushing others. Mwah mwah mwah!

I saw this movie last July 6, 2008. After hearing mass (actually, only a part of it), we went to SM to grab some lunch. After eating at chowking, we went to the movie house to see what's on. We saw Hancock is showing, and in 5 minutes! We hurriedly bought our tickets (I was stalled for about 5 mins since the cashier was still processing my SM Card freebie, a movie pass) and went inside. It was already starting when we settled in our seats, and even the first few scenes made me laugh.

Imagine a hobo-looking guy who is actually a superhero! And he "saves" people by doing more damage than the culprits themselves. The visual effects were stunning (what can you expect from US' effects? they made me believe that dinosaurs are still alive... hehehe) and the actors and actresses are very effective.

John Hancock (WIll Smith) is not your typical superhero... he has the super powers of flight, strength and invulnerability. But this is somewhat overshadowed by his not-so-friendly demeanor. He drinks, detroys properties, and lives in a worn out trailer, alone, in the mountains. People of the city he saves everyday hate him. In a stroke of luck, he met this PR man, who urged him to change his attitude so the public can accept him. After skepticism from Mr. PR Man's wife (played by Charlize Theron), Hancock decided to accept the offer. He was incarcerated (more funny scenes) and later, with the city in need, he flew out in hero-like fashion, with costume to boot. He became the hero everyone was hoping him to be.

Unfortunately, there is a catch to his superpowers. I really like the twist, and the events why things turned out to be that way. Hancock is not really a bad guy, he just lost his will to live after that mugging incident where in his only memories are a pair of movie tickets. In the end, the secret was revealed, and Hancock's final heroism proved to be the greatest of them all.

Sacrifices are made almost everyday, but some sacrifices are greater than others. Hancock's sacrifice proves that love can really go beyond... push mountains... and cross oceans. Because of that love, he chose to be the superhero, the one who will protect the people, leaving the love of his life free to live a normal life.

PhP75.00 was a bargain!!!!! watch the movie guys, and be amazed!

GOOD JOB!!!!

She came to our lives when one life was taken from us. The moment my mom laid her eyes on her little, skinny body, she saw an angel. And she nursed her to life. She took all the sacrifices, staying late up night,  giving her milk, making sure she's warm, playing with her, and making her forget the bad experiences she had. We treated her as a part of our family.

My mom named her Hannah, after that korean soap star she was fond of. She was spoiled, showered with all her whims and pampered like a princess. She learned how to use the "toilet" and how to "ask" for food. She became the darling of our household.

Then one afternoon, after I came home from school, fate played a nasty trick on us. As if one tragedy is not enough, Hanah was paralyzed. My mom was giving her a bath, when all of a sudden, her legs became stiff, and she wasn't the same after wards. We watched with pity as she dragged her legs towards her bed. We brought her to a doctor, and the doctor diagnosed that her sickness has something to do with the sudden change in temperature (or was it parasitic in nature?). He gave a few medicines, but still, Hannah's condition did not improve.

We tried our best to keep her comfortable. Her favorite dish was fried chicken, and she wouldn't touch it if it is not from Jollibee (seriously). She loves nanay's pork or tilapiang Bistek, and she seems to know if it was her cooking, because if someone else cooks it, she won't eat it. When she wants to get our attention, she either looks at us with those pitiful round eyes or simply bump us with her head. She showed extreme courage and determination to continue living a normal life although she was in that condition. We gave her toys, and we even found her a playmate. We soon forgot that she was indeed sick.

Then, the inevitable hour came. My mom went on a vacation, and she was thinking on bringing Hannah along. But since it would be very difficult for both of them to travel (it will be by boat), she decided to leave Hannah to our care. The first few weeks went well. But after a few days, she stopped eating. We brought have to the doctor, but nothing happened. She refused to eat anything. One thing we noticed was that her tummy was getting bigger. After observing her for a few days, we noticed that she haven't moved her bowels. This alarmed us, and we consulted again the doctor. The news shocked us. It seems one of her organs have failed, thus, disabling her more (now, she can excrete the waste inside her body). We knew of the consequence. She will be poisoned. We tried our best to make her feel more comfortable, we gave her fiber to allow her to move the bowels easier, but to no avail.

On that night, I knew it would be her last. She was already gasping for her final breaths. I can't bear to watch her suffer like this. My brother and I bought some beer. I need to drink. I have to take my mind away from the approaching cloud of grief. Why her? After everything she has been through, after finding us, she will leave us like this. Then, while taking a glass of beer, something bumped my leg. My tears trickled down, but I tried to suppress it, ashamed that my brother would laugh at me. Hannah was there, resting her head on my feet. I carressed her body. It was almost cold. Then, she gave me one last look, and let out a soft cry. She passed away that night, and I wailed and wailed, not thinking about the neighbors, nor my brother who was also in tears. She was a heaven-sent angel.

My mom heard the news. I can feel her sadness.  We decided to bury her in our house. We were reconstructing our house back then, and the first floor was almost finished. We laid her at the back door, along with her favorite toy (a stuffed cat that goes "meow" when you press it). After the burial, I felt lighter, as if a heavy burden was lifted from me. I looked down on the floored tiles and gave it a smile. She deserves to be here. She is our most special angel.

Hannah died in the same month my dad died, although they were a year apart. We all smiled thinking that maybe she was just an extension, a reminder, God's way of filling up the moments we should've spent with my dad.  She was only with us for about a year, but she taught me a lot when it comes to living this life. She could've given up, but instead, she pushed forward, and pulled her legs, just to live. I know, I know, she is just a cat. But I can't deny it, she already secured a special place in our hearts, as well as our home.

It took me almost 3 years to write this, not because I don't find it important, but because I was ashamed, ashamed that I let her die under my watch, ashamed that I haven't given her the care and attention she deserves. The same goes to you. I regret that I came to a point where I denied our relationship. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me childish antics and my disrespect for you. For the all the times I forgot who you are to me, I have no other words but sorry. This is for the both of you, dad, and Hannah. Thank you for being part of my life.

I am a quitter. Yes. That's what we call those who can't take the punishment to become distinguished CAT Officiers in High School.

I was in my junior year back then. And since my crush (I was still a teenager, okay) joined the COCC, I immediately jumped the wagon and enlisted my self for the training.

The romantic scenes I was expecting turned into nightmares. Running around the field in the heat of the sun, being shout at for no reason at all, not being able to walk on sidewalks when officers are present, having to jog when walking side by side with an officer, answer seemingly harmless questions with witty, memorized lines,  and memorizing the "Desiderata" and "Don't Quit" (actually, this was one of the best perks for me... really nice poems...). For me, these "trials" will make me a better officer. But I find it hard to follow their orders, specially the "don't show emotions" part. I have a permanent smile on my face (not really permanent, but some of my teachers described me back then as "Mr. Smiling Face") and I usually end up doing push ups or pumpings because of it. I really don't mind the joggings, the push ups or pull ups. They are mere exercise for me. What I can't take is being punished for no clear reason at all. And even at a low level, you can already smell the stench of corruption within the Corps. Every now and then, I reason with myself why I have to go on. After a few months, only a handful of hopefuls are left (my crush has left the corps a long time ago). I wanted to change the system, to free it from the iron hold of those who take advantage of their positions. But in the end, I had enough. Instead of facing it head on, my knees buckled, and I gave up.  I know I did what is right. They tried to pull me back in, but to no avail. My mind was set.

Looking back, I have no regrets. They branded me a "quitter" and an instant target during my CAT Day (I only attended CAT once, the first day, because the following meetings, our exemption was approved). But I stood tall in front of them, not seeing them as superiors, but equals. I have no hate towards our senior officers, or those who spoke behind my back. I consider them my comrades, and I hope they still see me as one of them, even if I am a quitter.